The Donald Takes a Chomp Out of Alcatraz with Gator Face-Off

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Sources say the former president was spotted on a boat near the infamous island prison, where he allegedly tried feed somechunks to a massive alligator. Witnesses claim that Trump maybe got a little overly familiar with the creature, leading some raised eyebrows. The {entiresituation was captured on video, and pictures have rapidly gone trending online.

Hot off the Press: The Donald and the Danger Lizards!

A shocking development is unfolding at Mar-a-Lago as we speak/right now/at this very moment. Sources report that former President T.D. has encountered a pack of super creepy lizards, said to be mutated by radiation/the result of government experiments/escaped from Area 51.

A nervous pool boy claim to have seen the former leader grappling with the creatures, wielding a silver spoon. The situation is still developing/unfolding/sketchy, and we await official statements from a bewildered Secret Service agent.

Stay tuned for more updates on this utterly bonkers event!

Big T's Wild Tour of Alcatraz

Get ready for a wild ride, folks! Tweeter-in-Chief is hitting the rock/island/prison like never before in a tour/experience/adventure they're calling the Gator Gauntlet. Sources say he's planning on showing off/lecturing about/taking control of the island, packing his best suits. He's even totally plans to put in a gold-plated bidet during his visit. This ain't your grandma's tour of Alcatraz, folks. Brace yourselves!

Alligator Alcatraz? You Betcha, Says Trump

Folks, lemme tell ya somethin'. This situation down in Florida is reptile sanctuary gettin' ridiculous. They got these crocodiles runnin' amok. And what do they do? Nothing! They just let 'em wander around. But not me, I wouldn't stand for that. We gotta get tough of these creatures. That's why I say we gotta build a gator jail - Alcatraz for these pesky beasts, folks! That's what makes America great, takin' care of problems.

Trump's Wild Ride: Presidential GATOR Safari!

This ain't your typical fundraiser, folks. The Boss Man himself is hitting the glades on a wild adventure. That's right, we're talking about Trumpfacing off against alligators. Sources say he's packing his that ridiculous red "Make America Great Again" beanie and planning on showing those gators who's boss. Will he emerge victorious? Only time will tell!

Can You Believe This?! Trump Goes Cage Diving With Gators

Folks, you are totally gonna believe this! The Donald himself, former Prez Trump, has decided to go on a wild journey. He's swapping his golf clubs for some serious bravery and is diving into a tank full of hungry alligators! Rumor has it that this whole thing was his idea.

What could possibly go wrong?? Only time will reveal.

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